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Wednesday, March 28, 2012

Harder, Faster

If at first you don't succeed try, try again. That cliche can apply to so many things including, and certainly not limited to masturbation.

Oh, I'm sorry did you think we were done with that topic? 

We haven't even scratch the surface.

For those of us that do masturbate, we are hopefully fully aware of all the wonderful benefits that it brings. So, I suggest we inform those of the world who don't what their missing, and perhaps, we'll even teach those of us that do more reasons to keep doing it. I'll start with my favorite reason.


I love sleep. Like I LOVE sleep, I'm sure that when I'm old I will look back on my life and realize all the time I wasted sleeping, but for now I'll allow it. If you are like me and love sleep but sometimes have a problem getting to sleep I will give you some sage advice. DON'T GET ON AMBIEN. There is no reason to pump your body full of chemicals when it naturally produces the ones you need. Ones that are released upon Orgasm. (Yes, I will be capitalizing Orgasm. It's that important. ) I can't spout the joys of sleep via masturbation more, there's something about cumming and then blissfully floating off into Lala land. Not to mention it might inspire some amazing dreams.

Ok, getting down to the nitty gritty, things you should do before using the big M to fall asleep:

-go to the bathroom. (The contracting of your uterus that is caused from masturbation can make you need to pee, which means getting out of bed afterward and therefore negating the purpose.)

-turn the lights off (unless of course you sleep with them on.)

-Say goodnight to your honey. (If your comfortable masturbating with your significant other in the bed then more power to you, otherwise you might want to let them in on what your doing and go to bed before them. Of course this will come up again when I talk about foreplay and mutual masturbation.) 

-Get comfy. If you have an insanely comfortable bed I applaud you and you can skip this step. Otherwise get comfortable there is nothing really worse than in the middle of masturbation and you become intensely uncomfortable.

Then the last thing to do is go for it.

I realize at this point there are so many reasons to masturbate and since I think some people, not necessarily myself, but perhaps some of my readers could get bored, I am bringing it down to what I consider the last important point.  


Awwww yeah baby, just like that. No don't stop, keep going.

You may think, awkward way to start that section. I believe that, that phrase or any iterations of it are VERY important. When your significant other tells you during foreplay, well, really anytime sexual, that you should keep doing what your doing. Please, please for the love of everything holy keep doing what you're doing. Don't slow down, don't change angles, don't suddenly start kissing. Normally when this phrase is uttered the person being played with is very close to completion which takes an obscene amount of concentration. 

For women cumming before sex has a benefit and a drawback.
 -lubrication vs. slip and slide. There wet and then there's sloppy. Wet and hem having sex is good, sloppy then having sex leads to next to no friction and therefore little no enjoyment for him.

-being overly sensitive. Sometimes too much is really too much. When you cum so hard that it drains you completely sex becomes only for the person who hasn't Orgasmed.

-though sometimes when you have baby Orgasms, (warning a new topic has popped up!) they can cause some very intense sex.  

So ultimately for foreplay you kinda have to play it Orgasm to Orgasm.

The last thing I have to say about masturbation would be to ask how do you do it? 
Here is where personal preference comes in, manual (no assistance) vs. vibrator.    

I have enjoyed and explored both of those options. When I was younger I think psychologically I wasn't prepared to allow something other than myself the release of control to bring myself to completion. As I've got older I've found that vibrators are amazing and are one if my best friends.

On the note of psychologically being able to loose control, I've had more than one friend/family come to me and discuss there inability or difficulty coming to completion. I feel that this harkenes back to my previous post that discussed being comfortable with yourself. I believe that this problem stems from the extreme physical and emotional turbulence that occurres when you come close to Orgasm and it's too much for you to handle and therefore you either stop because it's too overwhelming or you stop because it's so intense it hurts. If you find that it's painful to Orgasm I suggest strongly to go see your doctor. (This suggestion is for both men and women.)

I hope that you will take the advice that I try to express in this Column and use in for good and not bad. See you next week.  


Wednesday, March 21, 2012

Sex, sex, sex, and more sex. That's what we're here for, to talk about sex and all that it entails. My name is Charlyssa, and I have absolutely no professional experience in the sexual world, and I mean that in every way you can imagine. Though, I have had sex, as a matter of fact I have had many much sexin. Plus I like talking about sex, it's the most interesting thing you can talk about. Over the years my friends and family have either come to me for advice about their sex lives, or just to shoot the shit about it, either way a good chunk of them have told me that I should be a sex therapist. Well since I have no interest in the schooling involved to become a therapist, but I love writing, and most of the people I know like reading, I thought I'd blog it up. So here I am, blogging, about sex, dirty, sexy, loving, beautiful, sex and everything involved with it.

So, what's first on the list? Well we could start off slow, talk a little foreplay; we could dive right in and chat up some BDSM; or we could start where we all started as little kids...Masturbation.

People are really uncomfortable with the idea of children masturbating, and to be honest at that age it doesn't remotely resemble what we do at our age, but it's masturbation never the less. What is really disturbing about children discovering themselves (I feel I've used up all the children+masturbating in one sentence that I can.) is that family members tend to discourage that behavior. Discouraging it in public is one things, but children discovering their bodies is a very important step in their developmental stage. So parents, learn them kids proper hygiene, otherwise let them at it.

Again, I'm not a professional, so you certainly don't have to take my advice.

Onto us, the adults. I am amazed when I hear friends or family try to tell me that they don't masturbate, either they are lying, or the sadder fact their telling the truth and they don't because they think it's gross.

Gross? GROSS!?

This is your body we're talking about, your skin, hair, nails, and yes your sexual organs. To be honest I've noticed that when this topic arises it is 99% women, seriously haven't really met a dude who had that issue. I'll give you that the idea of fingers touching, moist, hopefully well lubricated vagina/clit could be seen as slightly unpleasant, there are ways around that, like say toys. Which is a topic we'll touch on later, its way too long for this one. Getting down to it masturbation is all about being in touch with our bodies, plus, you know orgasm! Woohoo! Until we can be comfortable with our bodies we can't really expect anyone else to be comfortable with them.

This is not the end of masturbation, it's too big of a topic to cover in one go, but it's a better than a decent start. So please come back again and read more. Or click on the link at the top to get sexie in you're email.