Listen up boys and gals cause you can learn something. Kissing is the most important sexual thing you can do with your mouth. Hands down no holds bar, it's the closest you will ever feel to a person if it's done right. There is a reason that prositutes generally don't kiss, it's too personal, to intimate. Read: Pretty Woman. I figured out I was going to marry my fiance because of a kiss.
I'm sure everyone has seen the scene in the movies where boy and girl get together at the end and they have this earth stopping, universe crashing, amazing kiss, those that say that it doesn't exsist (I used to be one of those.) are wrong it totally does. I have to share this rather sappy moment, that no one ever believes.
My fiance and I, then only my boyfriend, had been together for probably a week. We were laying in bed snuggling, kissing, and doing some general over the clothes petting, when suddenly it happened. The kissing took on a whole other level, I swear to you on anything I find good and decent in this world that time stopped, and we became one person. (Not literally) This was the most intense kiss I have every had, EVER! I applaud people who can kiss a person and only be thinking of that kiss and that person. I can't i have WAY too much going on in my busy, busy brain for that to happen. Its not as if I'm not vested in most of the kissing that I do, it's just that your brain wonders and sometimes you end up only giving about 60-70% of your attention to the kiss and the partner your doing it with, but man not that time. That time I was 100% invested in that kiss and so was he, it felt like it went on for hours, though it was only minutes, and when it ended we were both totally blown away we didn't speak for a while, just held hands. I have tried replicating this experience and have yet to every come anywhere close to it, I think I can safely say that I experienced a once in a lifetime event, and it was totally worth it.
Granted, for you cynics, there is the opposite side of the coin. I've determined in my own right that aside from things like war, poverty, and the Bush Administration there is nothing worse than bad sex, which I feel also encompasses bad kissing. It's like being told your going on this amazing vacation and when you get there its a child labor camp and you're forced to be the one that whips them. That imagry may have got a little out of hand...sorry.
Right, bad kissing.
There are several types of bad kissing, allow me to list a few:
-The Water Fountain
-The Feather Duster
I like my names, they're catchy and fun to come up with cartoon characters in my head. Personally I am a fan of a firm kiss, passionate is more than acceptable, I am rarely a light/delicate kisser. I think that most of these above offenders come from people not knowing when enough is enough. The biter, is a great example of that, Biters are people who have taken nibbling(acceptable), to a whole other level, if you "nibble" my lip and it come out of your mouth bleeding, you've gone too far. Worse to me is the Water Fountain, I can see silly sloppy kisses, the man does it to me occasionally when he thinks I'm not paying attention cause he knows it bugs me. Slobber...YUK! Saliva I'm ok with, me and saliva have an agreement. Water Fountain kissers, you come away from and need a towel for your face, cause not only have he out right slobbered on your mouth, but he has somehow managed to get it all over your face. Thinking about all the germs covering my face, invoke a primitive need to save myself by punching the offender and then taking a shower.
So don't get me wrong, I know that there are men out there, that are a little more feminine, but straight and that they have a tendency to kiss lightly. Which sometimes in certain circumstances, with the right person is good, but if I have to try to identify when your lips are brushing mine, you are taking this whole soft kissing thing way too far. I had an ex-girlfriend that did this to not just my lips, but to my body. It drove me absolutely batty. I'd be sitting there wondering when the whole thing was going to begin. Granted on the other end of the spectrum, and my last example is the Abuser. Playing rough, and having some good old fashion "Mr. And Mrs. Smith" type sex is great, but when you are constantly treating my mouth like it has no sensation to it, that's not good. It's like some people only see in black and white, "well if she doesn't like it soft she must like it real rough.", there is a difference between a passionate kiss and one that makes me wonder if I should get out while I can. Luckily I've only encountered this type of kisser once, and it was in my younger days, where there was too much drinking, and not enough of knowing each others names, so I give the guy the benefit of the doubt and hope that he learned his lesson when I smacked him. I think he bruised my lips. Ouch.
I'm a great kisser, I like to think that I try to anticipate what type of style my lover/s are going to want, but that has come with a lot of practice. I'm NOT advocating for people to just start kissing random strangers, or to go out and have a hook up, but practice makes perfect. It comes down to communication, you need to learn to give want your partner wants, while still being able to get what you want. This blog is all about putting it all out there for people to read, and hopefully use in their own way, and I am 100% supporter of talking to your partner about anything sexual that is bugging you, or that you would like to explore. If you can't tell the person you're being intimate with what you want, then you shouldn't be being intimate with them. I'm a realist too so if it's just a hook up and you're not serious, or you're never going to see them again. Get yours!